In Pursuit

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Saturday, August 29, 2009

When Things Don't Go as Planned.......

When the decision to leave First Assembly was made, I knew we had started on a path that we had never walked before as a family. However, I never dreamed that seven months after the decision had been made we would still be in a place of not knowing what the next step for us would be.

On the flip side, I didn't expect red carpets across the country to be rolled out for us. I knew it would be a process and I knew that it might not happen as quickly as I would want it to. But to be honest, it's gone way past the time frame I thought it would take.

We've looked in the mirror, prayed, reviewed our resume, adjusted the resume, talked with friends and checked web sites for open churches only to come up with no answers.

I've gone through the emotions of frustration, disappointment, anger, embarrassment and perhaps a few others as well. And some days, I've experienced these emotions numerous times throughout the day.

I've felt guilty for these feelings and thoughts but then I think about some of David's laments and lay them at God's feet, asking Him to take those feelings and give me a heart of flesh towards Him and His Spirit.

I've learned a few things over the past few weeks since we resigned from the church in Cedar Rapids. Here are some of the lessons:

  • Just because the first step was easy, doesn't mean the second one will be
  • Our timing and God's timing are seldom ever the same
  • God provides in ways that you never thought about before
  • There are times when God doesn't feel near
  • Our emotions can often run wild
  • You can't allow the actions or lack of action by others affect you
  • You have to keep your eyes on God, it's about Him, not me
  • While a little introspection is a good thing, too much of it can be destructive
  • You can't allow other people's dysfunctions affect you or become yours
  • God has given me a great family that love me and support me in all things
  • Any feeling I have that is not godly is not something to be entertained
  • There will be more lessons to be learned

I've also been made aware of others who are going through similar things in their own lives. I pray for them often because I know what a roller coaster all of this can be.

We've never looked back to second guess ourselves. What we did was right, perhaps even overdue. Now it is up to God for what's next.

Our family stays united and committed to the things of God and in spite of all the things happening (or not happening) around us, we look forward to God's plan blossoming in our lives as we continue to trust Him and walk with Him step by step.

Always in Pursuit!